Shiver
by rosenbaumgirl23
Summary: Lex is confused about his feelings for a certain someone. My first posted fic.
1. Default Chapter

PShiver  
  
P  
  
PCouple(s): Ch/Lex (no big surprise there.)  
  
PRating: PG-13 for a lot of intense kissing.  
  
PDisclaimer: Everything but the plot belongs to someone other than me.  
  
PAuthor's Note: Feedback is lovely! Visit my website: http://www.angelfire.com/indie/rockchick23/smallville.html for more stories. :-)(I typed it in wrong before. This is the real URL.)P  
  
P* * * * *  
  
P  
  
PSmallville's only coffee shop was crowded for a Wednesday evening; Lex blamed the heavy rains the town had been experiencing for at least a week. He'd been looking forward to a peaceful few hours of work and a cup of cappuccino. Things didn't go as he'd wanted for several reasons: the aforementioned crowd was too loud and chatty, and the girl of his dreams was sitting in the booth in front of his.  
  
PUsually Lex wouldn't use expressions like 'dream girl' to describe anyone; he wasn't the sentimental sort, nor was he big on monogamy. There was something about Chloe Sullivan, though. Something beautiful, different, and refreshing. Her disinterest in him--as feigned as it occasionally seemed--piqued his curiosity. He was used to girls throwing themselves at him; even the annoying Lana Lang had done her fair share of subtle drooling.  
  
PIBut Chloe,/I he thought, sipping his beverage and gazing at the back of her blonde head, IChloe seems to not like me very much./I He wasn't attracted to her because she wasn't attracted to him--in other words, 'the thrill of the chase' had nothing to do with his feelings, for once in his life.  
  
PII need her,/I he continued, stirring his coffee absently. IShe...fills a void, I guess./I He winced at the triteness of the thought, but decided that the sentiment was correct; she made him feel things that no mistress ever had; not by a longshot.  
  
P"Well, if it isn't everyone's favorite rich boy." The sound of her voice nearly made him spit coffee over the front of the girl's bright orange t-shirt.  
  
PHe turned his icy blue eyes toward her laughing greenish ones. "Miss Sullivan. I didn't see you come in." His statement was actually truthful; she'd been there when he arrived. "Join me, please."  
  
PShe shook her head rapidly, her blond curls flopping against her forehead as she did so. "Thanks, but I really can't; I'm meeting Clark to study for Algebra." She made a face when she mentioned the subject, and Lex chuckled.  
  
P"Well, maybe some other time, then," he suggested calmly, hoping like crazy that she didn't think him too forward. After all, they hadn't spent much time together outside of Luthor parties and mutual visits to the Kent's farm.  
  
PShrugging, she glanced over her shoulder and waved; Clark was peering through one of the floor length windows, grinning. "Gotta go. Later, Lex." Without so much as a smile, she turned and rushed to the door.  
  
PThe rejection stung, but Lex didn't let it bother him until he saw Clark and Chloe stroll away from the coffee shop, laughing under a giant umbrella.  
  
PThen he let his heart break.  
  
P  
  
PI"Join me, please," Lex offered, motioning to the seat across from his.  
  
PTo his distress, Chloe shook her head, though she was smiling slyly. "I don't want to sit and drink coffee now, Lex." She grabbed his hand--which was still holding his mug--nearly causing him to spill his beverage across the table. He set his cup down quickly, right before he was yanked through the crowd.  
  
P"Chloe, it's pouring out here," he announced, unnecessarily, as she pulled him outside. The pair stood on the sidewalk, getting wetter and wetter. Lex was freezing in his flimsy black shirt, but he couldn't make his legs move; his hand was clenched in hers, and he didn't want to break the contact.  
  
P"Lex," Chloe murmured, facing him and resting her hands on his chest. "I'm going to kiss you."  
  
PHis mind screamed at him to move away; if he let his mouth touch hers, he wouldn't be able to control himself. But if he didn't--eventually his feelings for her won out, and he responded to her kiss with greater fervor. "I love you, Chloe," he whispered against her lips. "I love you more than life itself."  
  
PGiggling, she pulled away from his embrace, leaving him gasping for breath. She gazed over his shoulder as Clark walked toward them. "Clark!" As Lex watched, horrified, the girl began to kiss her best friend passionately. Clark, however, couldn't have cared less that the most beautiful, amazing, fantastic girl in the entire state of Kansas seemed to desperately want him.  
  
P"Hi, Clark," another female voice said seductively. It was Chloe's turn to appear heartbroken, as Lana Lang began to share a hot moment with the farm boy.  
  
P"Clo!" Lex shouted when she hurried from the sidewalk, her hands covering her face. He could only gape as she slipped in the middle of the road, while a speeding car zoomed toward the shocked girl--  
  
PSuddenly, a familiar shape materialized in front of him, freezing everything else. "Lex, darling," his mother said tenderly, smiling at her only son. "Save her. You love her, don't you?"  
  
P"Mother," Lex choked out, between sobs. It was too much for him. But, as she reached down to stroke his forehead, he regained his strength. In a flash, he hurried to Chloe's side, scooped her up, and laid her on the sidewalk.  
  
P"Lex," she whispered hoarsely as he wrapped his strong arms around her shivering body. "You saved me."  
  
P"I could never let anything happen to you." He brushed a strand of damp blonde hair off of her forehead gently. "I love you."  
  
P"You said that," she remarked with a slight, trembling smile. "Oh, Lex," she sighed. He went weak as she brought her lips to his again.  
  
PWhen he looked over his shoulder to catch one more glimpse of his mother, he saw her vanish./I  
  
P  
  
PLex could only recall one time in his life when he'd felt powerless; the day his mother died, after a long battle with heart disease. He'd been powerless to stop her from slipping away, powerless to stop the pain that spread in his own heart.  
  
PWhen he awoke from his haunting dream, he glanced at his bedside clock; it was nearly five in the morning. Despite the fact that it was almost daybreak, the sky through his window was as dark and dreary as if it were midnight. The rainy weather suited him just fine; he hated sunlight, especially when he was as confused as he was.  
  
P"I don't love Chloe," he whispered, wrapping his black comforter snugly around his nearly naked body. "I've only ever loved my mother, and that was so long ago I barely remember the way that felt." His eyes stung, causing his temper to flare. "Damnit! It's bad enough that I have to be so screwed up over Chloe, but then I had to think about Mom as well--" For the second time in his life, Lex Luthor sobbed.  
  
P  
  
PHe continued to be drawn to the Beanery. Though the newly- renovated Talon had recently reopened its doors, and he knew he should check up on Lana, he found himself, once again, staring at the back of Chloe's head.  
  
PThe details of his dream swam through his head, and he attempted to sift through them for what felt like the hundreth time that morning. He had studied enough about psychology and dreams to know that most images in dreams stand for something other than what they appear to be. After careful consideration, he decided that his late, beloved mother stood for his heart. IThat sounds trite/I, he chided himself. IBut it makes perfect sense, as I associate her with love, and vice versa/I. That left Chloe; try as he might, he had no idea what she represented, other than herself.  
  
PBefore he knew what he was doing, he stood and walked confidently to Chloe's booth. Without speaking, he slid in across from her. She was bent over a notepad, scribbling furiously, the tip of her tongue protruding past her kissable lips.  
  
P"Well, if it isn't everyone's favorite reporter," he teased, echoing what she'd said to him the day before.  
  
PHer head shot up, her eyes revealing that he'd startled her. "Lex," she gasped, "you scared me."  
  
P"I'm sorry," he returned sincerely, brushing the back of her hand with his fingertips quickly. "I saw you here, and I wanted to say hello. How was your study date with Clark yesterday?"  
  
PApparently, that was a sore subject; she frowned and narrowed her eyes. "Lana came over after five minutes, uninvited, of course, and he ran off with her. It didn't matter that we'd made these plans weeks ago; when she pops over, I may as well be--" She paused, sticking the blunt end of her pen in her mouth. "I was trying to think of a good metaphor, but I'm drawing a blank."  
  
PThe billionaire found himself chuckling warmly. "I'm sorry things didn't go well, but I know how you feel." He had blurted it out without thinking, not entirely sure what he meant.  
  
P"Oh really? I thought everybody noticed the grand Lex Luthor." She sighed and averted her eyes to the light, lukewarm brew in her ceramic mug; absently ran her index finger around the rim.  
  
IPYou don't; not in the way I wish you would. I may as well not exist when Clark's around/I. Lex wasn't sure what to say in response to her statement, if anything. When he watched her, something stirred in his heart; not pity, not lust, not exactly respect. "Are you going to be okay?" He then winced; Ithat must be the stupidest question ever asked, in the history of particularly idiotic questions. Of course she's not okay. Her 'best friend' inadvertently broke her heart./I  
  
P"Oh yeah. I'm fan-Ifreaking/I-tastic, Lex," Chloe muttered, meeting his gaze across the table. If she noticed that he started slightly when she smiled at him, she didn't say so.  
  
PFolding and unfolding his hands, he racked his brain for something safe to say; the phrase, '/II'm in love with you, Chloe Sullivan'/I kept repeating over and over in his mind, but he didn't think that was the most ideal topic of discussion. "Beautiful weather we're having, hmm?" he said finally, his tone as bright and cheerful as Lex Luthor's tone can be.  
  
PTo his surprise, she burst out laughing. "Wow, Lex Luthor actually used small talk to get a conversation going. He must be human after all." The sparkle that had been lacking from her eyes returned as quickly as it had vanished.  
  
PThe corners of Lex's mouth curved into a whisper of a smile while he watched her; when she laughed, she reminded him so much of his mother, though his mother had had bright red hair. The resemblance was so striking that a lump built up in his throat and he had to fight to keep from sobbing again.  
  
PThe mirth evaporated from her face when Chloe noticed that her companion wasn't sharing in the humor. "Lex, are you okay?" she asked, concern touching the edges of her voice. "You look like you're about to cry."  
  
PHer hand reached for his and he broke. A sob forced its way out of his throat, causing him to rush from the coffeeshop, horrified and disgusted with himself. He was momentarily blinded from the combination of rain and his own tears, but he continued to run until he was around the next corner.  
  
PHe rested his head against the side of a random brick building, letting himself cry for everything he'd lost; his mother, his father's love, the town's respect, any chance of being with Chloe--it was all gone.  
  
P"Lex." Chloe grasped his upper arm and firmly turned his shaking body. He forced himself to look at her, though he wished he hadn't; she was gazing at him with more concern than he'd ever expected to see from her- -especially concern directed at him. "What's going on?"  
  
PThere was only one thing his foggy, depressed mind could think about doing right that second; he held her shoulders lightly and pressed his mouth to hers with all the passion he'd ever felt for her, all the sadness he'd ever experienced, all the love he'd ever needed.  
  
PHe felt her tremble at first, while she rejected his kiss, and his conscience told him to back away from her, told him that one random kiss was going to drive him insane, told him that he was screwing up any chance of being friends with Chloe.  
  
PHis tears were washed away by the pouring rain, though he continued to sob uncontrollably. He deepened the one-sided kiss, needing to feel something other than the hole in his heart. Physically, his body was on fire; though she hadn't returned his kiss, her mouth felt utterly amazing on his. Emotionally, he was more hurt than he'd ever been from her continued refusal to get close to him.  
  
PFinally, his heart breaking harder than before, he pulled away, an apology on the tip of his tongue. Before he could get the words out, her arms were around his neck, and Chloe was kissing him passionately.  
  
P  
  
PFINIS 


	2. Sparks

Couple(s): Chloe/Lex; some Clark/Lana; minor CC  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: Everything but the plot belongs to someone other than me  
  
Spoilers for: nothing  
  
Author's Note: I was halfway done with this part before I remembered that chapter one was written from the third person. It was too late to change this one, so it'll stay Chloe's POV. Also, I know this isn't as good as chapter one, but I wanted to get it written quickly. I apologize if my characterizations are completely off.  
  
Sparks  
  
I saw Lex come in. He saw that I saw him. I saw that he saw that I saw him. He saw that I saw that he--okay, enough, Sullivan. Calm down. I'm always this hyper when I come to the Beanery; Clark insists I should have my blood replaced with coffee. Ha, I'm not addicted. But I digress.  
  
Lex sauntered inside, looking put together and confident despite the massive rain storm, just as I was finishing my fourth latte, which contained four sugars and two creams. As I mentioned he glanced in my direction, and I caught his gaze. Or so I think; he looked away so quickly that I'm not sure what happened.  
  
At any rate, he appeared to slide into the booth behind mine. I turned back to my coffee and daydreaming, forgetting that he was there. After a while, however, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, as though I was being watched.  
  
Trying to look inconspicuous, I rotated around and noticed Lex staring off into the distance, sipping his coffee. Dismissing the paranoid feeling as a side effect from too much caffeine, I ignored him again.  
  
When the sensation returned, I got up, without thinking, and marched to his booth. "Well, if it isn't everyone's favorite rich boy," I said by way of greeting; I like the man, certainly, but he always seems to expect me to be snarky.  
  
There was something really attractive about his eyes when he started at the sound of my voice. I've always found him good-looking, even before I actually knew him, but that day he was almost sexy. Too much caffeine, my brain warned me as the erotic Lex thoughts kicked in.  
  
"Miss Sullivan. I didn't see you come in," he began, a tinge of nervousness in his usually confident voice. Curious. "Join me, please." He motioned to the chair across from his.  
  
I was completely ready to say 'yes'; completely ready to sit with him and chat; completely ready to maybe, kind of like him a lot more than I already did. That was what was scary; I didn't think I wanted to care about Lex--he's not the greatest guy ever, nor is he particularly friendly. Still, I knew I could fall hard for Smallville's resident playboy; Luthor charm is lethal.  
  
He appeared to be awaiting a response, though I wasn't really sure what his frown meant. Maybe he was thinking about a rotten business deal while I made up my mind. I suppose I'll never know. To keep myself from sliding into aforementioned seat across from aforementioned playboy, I firmly shook my head. "Thanks, but I really can't; I'm meeting Clark to study for Algebra." I wrinkled my nose in distaste when I mentioned the most pointless subject on the face of the planet.  
  
A flash of blue caught my eye so I tilted my head around, positive I knew what said flash was. Sure enough, Clark Kent himself was grinning at me through one of the floor length windows.  
  
"Well, maybe some other time, then," Lex continued, causing me to turn away from my best friend. Was it my imagination, or did he sound disappointed?  
  
I didn't mean to blow him off; I really didn't, but Clark was motioning at his watch and mouthing at me to hurry up. I guessed he had to finish studying before doing his chores. "Gotta go. Later, Lex," I said in a rush, hurtling for the door without thinking about saying goodbye.  
  
* * * * *  
  
My mind is never on formulas and numbers when Clark and I do homework in the Fortress of Solitude; usually, I dream about Clark. That particular day, however, my thoughts were focused on one Lex Luthor.  
  
As I said, he's always been hot, though I never would've said that I had a crush on him before; my heart had belonged to Clark since we were kids, unbeknownst to him, of course. After the encounter with everyone's favorite multi-billionaire--the same encounter which I keep referring to-- my brain was whirling.  
  
I'm totally not falling for him, I assured myself, and almost believed it. Maybe he's simply more than the 'curiosity' he once was. Or maybe that was just a load of crap. Or maybe Lana Lang just bounced up the steps and is flirting mercilessly with...Clark Kent, you're so dead.  
  
She's the only girl I've ever seen who actually giggles--you know, that high-pitched, squeaky sound that claws through one's throat, making one sound like a strangled mouse. Granted, many girls try to perfect the sound, but they aren't as successful as Miss Thang herself. Granted, also, that she doesn't do it often; only when she's leading Clark on. Oh, wait...  
  
Blast. They got up and walked off, both giggling. Did Clark think to wave at me or at least say where he was going? Nooooo.  
  
It didn't bother me as much as it should've; sure, I was pissed--he broke a 'date' to hang out with the not-single love of his adolescent life. But, suddenly, I didn't care that they were probably making out on her front porch; didn't care that Lana was probably telling Clark how much sweeter he is than Whitless; didn't really care at all that his heart would break again because he was too whipped to think straight.  
  
I stared at my bedroom ceiling for two hours that night, dedicating my insomniac thoughts to Lex, instead of my best friend's love life issues for once. "I don't have a crush on Lex," I said aloud, nodding fiercely--a feat that's hard to accomplish while lying down.  
  
"He may be hot, he may be powerful...arg, since when do I care about power? Okay, he may be hot, he may be really nice to me, unlike other members of the male species, but other than that, what do I know about him?"  
  
That question kept me awake for almost another hour, when the answer hit me. "I know that he's a human being underneath it all," I whispered, remembering all the occasions he'd talked to me at parties to keep me from being lonely; remembering all the times he'd waved to me at the Beanery; remembering the times he'd stopped by the Torch office to say hello and ask me about the Wall--  
  
"I really do have a crush on Lex!" I squealed, clamping a hand over my mouth to quiet myself down. My eyelids fluttered closed then; his lovely visage and deep, penetrating blue eyes imprinted themselves in my brain.  
  
* * * * *  
  
It's no surprise that I stopped by the Beanery after school the next day; the real shock was that I found Lex there again. He's certainly allowed to check out his 'adoring public' anywhere he wants to; I guess I was surprised that he wasn't at the Talon checking up on the 'co-manager' of the cafe/bookstore. (I was sure that all Lana had to do was stand there in an apron, flashing that saccharine smile at every horny, high school student that walked in. Sorry, that was harsh.) Still, I didn't believe he trusted her enough to spend time away from his latest venture. At any rate, it's not my problem whether or not Miss Perfect screws things up.  
  
Mug of fully-caffeinated black coffee in one hand--I always start with black, then move up to lattes, cappuccinos, and so on--I maneuvered through the huge crowd--blasted torrential rains--and plopped into my usual booth. I spotted Lex in the one behind me, a pensive frown on his face.  
  
At first I was ready to write off my feelings for him as late-night mental babbling, but then I focused my full attention on him. He was so...beautiful that he took my breath away.  
  
"Stick tongue back in, swallow drool, close mouth," I muttered, tearing my eyes away from him and lowering my gaze to the notepad in front of me. The blank page laughed at me, and I was in no mood to be teased. So, despite my writer's block, I began scribbling random things down: 'Pete needs a girlfriend, Clark needs a clue, I need to write this article, Lex needs to fall for me.'  
  
"Whoa," I whispered. "Where'd that come from?" Just because I admitted to having feelings for him, that didn't mean I wanted them returned! I decided that second that I'd wait and see what he did; if he gave me some sign that he was interested, I'd consider.... "What, Sullivan? You don't want to date him!"  
  
I nodded to acknowledge the voice in my head, then bent over the paper again, determined to work. The notes for that week's cover story were flowing diligently until someone interrupted my train of thought.  
  
"Well, if it isn't everyone's favorite reporter." Figures that the interrupter was the wrong someone; the someone to whom I hadn't wanted to speak.  
  
My tongue had been sticking out. How much can I embarrass myself, anyway? "Lex," I said, surprised by the distraction, "you scared me." It was true that my heartbeat had increased rapidly upon hearing his voice, but not because I was frightened.  
  
He took it upon himself to perch across from me without asking if I wanted company; not that I minded. I might have imagined it, but I think he brushed my hand with his fingers before speaking. "I'm sorry," he began, sounding as sincere as he can, "I saw you here, and I wanted to say hello. How was your study date with Clark yesterday?"  
  
I was at once annoyed that he'd brought it up and flattered that he'd remembered my previous plans. My eyes automatically narrowed in response to his statement--thinking about the day before reminded me that Clark had once again blown me off--but I wasn't sure what to tell him. On one hand, as I mentioned, I was pissed off. On the other hand, I was only pissed because my friend blew me off; not because the love of my life ran off with someone else.  
  
Confused? So was I, and I was the one having the rapid-fire thoughts. Blasted caffeine habit. Since I had to verbally reply in some way or another, I ranted; something Pete claims I'm good at. "Lana came over after five minutes, uninvited, of course, and he ran off with her. It didn't matter that we'd made these plans weeks ago; when she pops over, I may as well be--" I cut myself off and thoughtfully chewed on the blunt end of my pen. I wasn't sure how to finish what would have been a terrible analogy. "I was trying to think of a good metaphor, but I'm drawing a blank," I admitted, sighing slightly.  
  
To my surprise, Lex chuckled. I didn't think what I said was particularly amusing, but he operates on a completely different level than 'normal' people--that adjective being relative in a town like Smallville-- so maybe, to him, it was the witticism of the year. "I'm sorry things didn't go well, but I know how you feel."  
  
Oh. Well. Either he was just trying to make me feel better, or we really, truly had made some kind of connection, as trite as that sounds. "Oh really? I thought everybody noticed the grand Lex Luthor." I don't know why I was short with him; I guess I still didn't want to believe that I could like him. I sighed again and absently traced the lip of my mug with my index finger; the coffee was too cold to drink, anyway.  
  
Upon hearing my remark, something changed in his countenance: he grew almost wistful; his eyes were suddenly filled with a sadness I never expected him to feel, let alone broadcast on his face. "Are you going to be okay?" He wrinkled his nose then, like he wasn't happy with his question.  
  
"Oh yeah. I'm fan-freaking-tastic, Lex," I muttered, deciding not to elaborate; I may have been falling for him slowly, but I wasn't going to unburden myself to him. To soften the harshness of my words, I smiled gently, causing him to jump slightly.  
  
His hands began to fold and unfold on the table, as he seemed to grow more and more nervous. I'd never seen an apprehensive Luthor, but I sort of liked the sight; it meant he was human, that he had to battle emotions like everyone else. "Beautiful weather we're having, hmm?" was what he finally said, his voice perking up slightly.  
  
He caught me so off-guard that I cracked up. "Wow, Lex Luthor actually used small talk to get a conversation going. He must be human after all." I lifted my eyes to his briefly, hoping he understood that I meant the statement in jest. Luckily, his lips had turned up at the edges, leading me to believe that he was smiling.  
  
To my absolute astonishment, the smile vanished milliseconds later. It was replaced with a look of uncensored sorrow. I immediately sobered up. "Lex, are you okay?" I asked with more concern than I've ever exhibited for anyone. "You look like you're about to cry." His eyes were filling with tears and he was blinking them back fiercely.  
  
My heart ached for him as a strangled sob escaped his throat and he raced for the door. I sat in the booth for a few moments, trying to process everything that had just happened; Lex Luthor ran out of a public place, about to cry, and I was really, really worried.  
  
Without thinking anymore about anything, I bolted after him. It was still raining heavily and I was instantly soaked. Though I was only in a thin t-shirt and jeans, I couldn't have cared less; the man I might truly have been in love with was hurting. It bothered me more than anything else ever had, more than I'd ever admit.  
  
He was cowering next to another brick building, with his arm thrown across his tear and rain-streaked face. I was at his side immediately, pulling him around so I could face him. He was trembling from the cold and, I assumed, his sobs.  
  
"Lex," I whispered, feeling my own heart break when I stared into his red-rimmed eyes; the blue in their depths made even more intense. "What's going on?"  
  
I expected him to compose himself; expected him to blow the incident off as 'nothing'; expected him to be his usual, unexpressive self.  
  
I certainly didn't expect him to gently push me against aforementioned brick building and kiss me with more passion than I ever thought could exist in one person. I know that sounds cheesy, but I was entirely blown away.  
  
Kiss him back! my brain screamed, while his tears fell onto my own face, he's hurting, damnit. Kiss him back! In all of about two seconds, I decided he was just using me; I was there, so he took advantage of my presence. I then changed my mind, deciding that he had picked up on my feelings toward him--as confused as they were--and was humoring me. Then I figured he was too depressed just then to even think about using or humoring me.  
  
That left only one reason why he was intensifying the already heated kiss; a reason I didn't want to speculate on, for fear I'd get my hopes up.  
  
Before I could wrap my mind around that last thought, he'd broken off the kiss, gasping. His lips parted, leading me to believe that he was going to apologize. Even if he was using me, I didn't care. Not then, anyway. All I wanted was to feel his mouth on mine again.  
  
And so, shocking us both, I threw my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his in a fiery kiss that put our first to shame.  
  
I had the rest of my life to dwell on the consequences.  
  
FINIS 


End file.
